


Five Thousand Unicorns and a Gold Star

by glitterandlube



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-24
Updated: 2012-06-24
Packaged: 2017-11-08 10:03:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/442014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterandlube/pseuds/glitterandlube
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a fine line between parenting and being a kindergarten teacher. Stiles does both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Thousand Unicorns and a Gold Star

**Author's Note:**

> I am going to write some horrible non-con soon to make up for this fluff I keep posting, I swear. [Kidding. Maybe.]
> 
> This was requested by Omens after we had a vague discussion of a kinkmeme request that involved Stiles being a teacher who wears sweater vests. I don't know what the rest of the prompt was, I apologize. If that was yours - let me know and I'll credit you. Thanks. A continued thank you very much to Omens, who hangs out with me and watches Teen Wolf with me, and who beta'd this fic.
> 
> Omens drew this: [Derek/Stiles](http://archiveofourown.org/works/442768/chapters/756532) It's so awesome. :D

Stiles had thought very seriously about majoring in criminal justice at university but then he thought very seriously about how criminal justice type jobs would require law abiding behavior and how his life is and will always be full of troublesome werewolves. So he majored in elementary education because he figured if he could handle a pack of idiots he could handle tiny children. He was both right and wrong.

Stiles arrives at his classroom at seven every weekday morning and opens up a few windows to air out the room. He collects any debris that is still fluttering around. His kids this year aren’t champs at ‘put things away in their places time’ but they’re five year olds so Stiles isn’t judging. He sets out boxes of crayons, stacks of green lined paper, and washable oversized markers. He plans to start the kids on tracing letters today. A few of the kids can already read and write, so he’s hoping that it won’t be too painful. Most of them are okay with the alphabet and the concept of putting symbols on paper. 

Everything is clean by eight and he sits on the floor in the time-out corner and eats breakfast. It’s yogurt, granola, and fruit. He’s kind of disgusted at himself but if he has a lot of sugar in the morning he’ll be way too hyper and end up crashing with the kids at nap time later. That happened once and it will never happen again. He needs less Adderall now than he did as a teenager, but he still takes it twice a day. He has an old person pill box as a reminder and everything, painted blue because the clear plastic annoyed him. 

The kids start to arrive at eight-thirty. Stiles greets them and makes sure they hang their coats up and put their bags in the right places. By nine all the kids are there and everything is in its proper place. Stiles straightens his sweater vest, originally a joke present from Scott when Stiles got his first teaching job. Scott laughed (and still laughs) but Stiles loves them and ended up buying himself three more. He thinks they make him look older or at least a little bit Charles Xavier. Not that he sometimes pretends his kids are mutants. He claps his hands together to get the attention of twenty little kids at once. He watches one of them wipe his nose on his sleeve and sighs internally. He’d met with the kid’s parents to mention the invention of the tissue to them but after he watched the dad wipe his nose on his sleeve, he immediately accepted defeat. If it all ends in crying, it’s not going to be Stiles’ tears. Losing battles are losing battles. 

Stiles starts to pass out crayons to the kids, settling instantly any disputes about which child deserves which color. He goes through so many packs of crayons that he doesn’t even feel bad about stealing them from restaurants anymore. Every child deserves their own red crayon to wreak havoc with; it’s a fact. 

The classroom has tables arranged in a square so that Stiles can stand in the middle and the children can all see him. He can also walk around the outside and help any of the children who need him. He carries a packet of gold stars in his pocket, along with some glitter stickers for extra awesome behavior. He always forgets about them and pulls unicorns and rainbows out of his pockets before he does laundry. He gives gold stars to Scott sometimes, too. Scott usually flips him off. Derek is the only one to get glitter stickers because only Derek is _worthy_ of glitter stickers. This was explained to Scott very seriously. Scott stole a sheet of rainbow stickers in retaliation and stuck them on Stiles’ closet door. Derek was not amused. At least twice, Stiles has given stickers to salespeople who were very helpful to him. They had both laughed. The Stilinski charm serves him well in all sorts of situations.

He walks around the room praising the drawings and helping some of the kids decide what to draw next. Jessica is drawing her five-thousandth unicorn and Thor, the child that has never worn anything without a comic book character on it, is drawing Captain America. Again. Stiles had suggested Loki once, just to see what the kid would do, and then had to cuddle him for five minutes while he cried. Stiles seriously wondered what some parents tell their children, but it turned out that his younger brother was named Loki. Stiles felt very strongly that the parents were asking for it. He wasn’t entirely sure what “it” was, but he was fairly certain it wouldn’t be good. 

It turned out Thor did not like being separated from Loki and brought it up three times a day. He once tried to steal Stiles’ phone to call his little brother. Stiles was torn between finding this adorable and terror that Thor would see something that he really shouldn’t on his phone. Something like pretty much any photo of Derek doing anything at all because Stiles considers everything Derek does to be vaguely pornographic. Possibly because Derek is banning shirts again lately. He probably has a good reason but Stiles really doesn’t give a fuck what it is. He just appreciates the view. His phone is now locked up and safe in his desk, is the point. He’s a little terrified that he’ll miss an emergency, but better that than the alternative of Thor sending his parents a picture of Derek with the kind of red eyes that don't come from a flash. 

Stiles walks around the room for a half hour until they’re ready to switch to naming colors. He has the kids pass around charts and he stands in the middle of the square and asks random children to name the color he’s pointing to. He makes sure he turns enough that none of them feel left out. This is a difficult balance sometimes. After colors is letter tracing and then learning to color in the lines - unless they feel strongly that coloring in the lines _stunts their development_. Stiles does not need another lecture from helicopter parents about teaching children to be conformists. The whole time he wanted to say, “My husband is a werewolf, how’s that for non-conformist?” but he managed not to blurt out anything horrible _or_ strangle himself with his tie. Stiles is the champion of kindergarten teachers. 

Snack time comes quickly enough and he passes out milk, fruit snacks, and graham crackers. He has a list for which children can’t have wheat and which ones can have regular milk and which ones drink soy milk. Thor only drinks chocolate almond milk, and because he likes to share things with his favorite teacher, Stiles is now hoarding his own supply in the fridge at home. It is _amazing_. 

Stiles is tempted to bring him hemp milk but Derek said that it wasn’t funny. What the hell does Derek know about things that are funny? 

The kids all settle down for a nap after snack time. Stiles arranges their little sleep mats out with glee; he thinks they’re adorable as hell. When they finish their nap time it’s one o’clock and time to go home. Stiles helps the kids pack their bags up and get their tiny coats on. He hugs every kid before they leave because he has magic hug powers and he feels he should share his gift with the world. 

As usual, Peter’s parents are late, so he and Peter hang out and play with cards. Derek sneaks in (wearing a shirt - Stiles is both relieved and sad) before Peter’s parents arrive and Peter throws himself at Derek joyfully. All the kids love Derek; he’s the best jungle gym ever and he can carry ten kids at a time. They think he’s some kind of god in human form. Stiles agrees with them but isn’t about to admit it out loud.

Derek hangs Peter upside down by his ankles and Peter squeals as Derek swings him around. Peter’s mom finally shows up, harried and annoyed. Peter trudges out after her but waves sadly at Stiles and Derek as he clutches his Spider-Man bag. 

“My heart,” Stiles says. “Why?” 

Derek says, “He’s fine, you worry too much.”

“I want a kid,” Stiles says. “I’m going to be the best fucking parent ever. My kid will know what tissues are and how to share with others and not to draw on the wall with permanent marker, and yes, I’m totally lying.” 

“We can have cubs whenever you want,” Derek says, kneeling down next to Stiles. He picks up Stiles’ hand and kisses it. 

Stiles gives him a warm smile, and says, “Can we kidnap Peter?”

“No,” Derek says, tugging Stiles to his feet. “His parents would notice.”

“Unfair,” Stiles says, moving in for a hug, and sighs. “Help me clean up.”

By two o’clock they’re mostly done, but Stiles is ready to go anyway. He grabs his phone, his bag, and his husband and they walk out of the building after Stiles locks up his classroom. He has a folder full of drawings to write A++++ all over and a tie to ditch on the table inside the door. 

It takes forty minutes of heavy traffic to get home but Stiles doesn’t want to live anywhere else. The Hale house is rebuilt and filled with Derek’s family again. His very messy family. Stiles sighs and starts cleaning up the crap all over the living room floor until Derek says, “Leave it. they’re not your students; they’re adults.”

“In theory,” says Stiles. It’s a controversial theory. Derek just shrugs; he knows. 

“Welcome home,” Isaac says, skipping down the stairs.

Stiles says, “Hi, yourself.” 

He walks over to give him a hug and they go upstairs with Derek following along behind them. Isaac is showing Stiles some of his work and Stiles smiles at the drawings scattered over Isaac’s drafting table. This isn’t like his students at all. Isaac is enthusiastic about his latest project and he talks about it brightly. Stiles hides his grin as Derek shakes his head. Stiles mouths ‘cubs,’ at Derek. 

Derek says, “We wouldn’t even notice another one.”

Isaac turns to Derek, confused. “What?”

“Sorry, different conversation,” Stiles explains, and lets himself be pulled back into Isaac’s work. They talk about colors while Derek goes downstairs to do something shirtlessly. Stiles leans closer to Isaac and touches his curls. Isaac’s smile gets brighter. The rest of the pack won’t be home until later but Stiles will be ready for them, too.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Glitter Stickers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/442768) by [omens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/omens/pseuds/omens)




End file.
